The Maleficent Seven: From the World of Skulduggery Pleasant Read online

  “Uh,” said Wilhelm. “No. What? What are you talking about? I was right there. We’re all in this together. Brothers in arms. And sister. Brothers and sister in arms. United we stand, yes? I didn’t tell anyone. I’m not a traitor. I swear. I hate traitors. I hate them so much. They make me so mad.”

  “Sanguine’s moving,” Saracen whispered.

  “Wilhelm,” said Vex. “Step over here a minute, would you?”

  Wilhelm licked his lips. “Actually... actually, I don’t think I want to do that.” He took a step back.

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” said Vex.

  “You look like you’re going to hurt me. You all do. I thought we were friends. I thought we were a team, like the Musketeers, or the Avengers.”

  “We are a team, Wilhelm. And now we just want to have a team hug.”

  Wilhelm’s eyes widened, and he started shouting. “They know! They know I’m a double agent! Help me! Request extraction! Please help—”

  Sanguine’s hand burst up, grabbed his ankle and yanked him into the ground before anyone could reach him. He screamed all the way down.

  “They’re gone,” said Saracen. “Moving fast, heading east. Wilhelm’s still screaming.”

  “Let them go,” Vex said, his leg giving out. Saracen grabbed him, lowered him to the ground. “Hopefully, Wilhelm will be as much of a hindrance to them as he was to us. But we may have another problem. Gracious, could you bring me the bow?”

  Gracious disappeared into the plane, emerged a few moments later with the long case. He opened it, handed Vex the weapon. Vex took an arrow, nocked it, pulled back the string.

  “Careful with that,” said Frightening.

  Vex scanned the sky until he saw a bird, high above. He aimed, drew the string tighter and released. The arrow flew, then started to dip, and hit the ground somewhere behind the chain-link fence.

  “I thought the bow never missed,” said Aurora.

  “The real bow doesn’t,” Vex said. “This isn’t the real bow.” He threw it to one side. “Johann’s dagger, the real one... I’m pretty sure Tanith has that as well. She’s in the lead here, and now she has the spear. The score is three nil to them.”

  The others stared at him, but not one single shoulder sagged.

  “OK,” said Donegan, “so we know they’re going after the sword, which means we know where they’ll be. And assuming Gracious and I can make the repairs to the plane in time, we won’t be lagging too far behind. So we’ll finally be on equal footing.”

  “Or we could just phone the English Sanctuary and tell them to prepare,” said Frightening.

  “Would they even listen to us?” asked Saracen. “Aurora, you’re American. They might listen to you.”

  “And then they’ll do what?” she asked. “Double security? You think that’ll be enough? They’ve got other things to worry about.”

  “I don’t think we should tell them,” said Vex. “Tanith Low may be a Londoner, but she’s spent the last few years working pretty exclusively with the Irish Sanctuary. Any action she takes against them, they’ll just blame it on Ravel and Skulduggery, and they’ll have their excuse to go to war.”

  “So what do you suggest?”

  Vex shrugged. “We break into the Sanctuary and steal the sword before Tanith does, and get out before anyone is any the wiser.”

  Saracen laughed. “That’s a ridiculously stupid idea.”

  “I know.”

  “If they discover us, they’ll definitely go to war.”

  “There is that.”

  “And do you even have any idea how we’d break in?”

  “Not yet.”

  “We could wear disguises,” said Frightening.

  Aurora nodded quickly. “Like a false beard. I’ve always wanted to wear a false beard.”

  Vex frowned. “But you’re a woman.”

  “Exactly. They’d never suspect it was me.”

  With the help of Saracen, Vex stood. “Then it’s decided. We see what we can do about this damaged aeroplane and these pesky bullet holes, then we break into the English Sanctuary, steal the sword, beat up Billy-Ray Sanguine and nobody goes to war.”

  ilhelm Scream was not exactly a game-changer, of this Tanith was aware, and having him finally join up as the seventh member of her little team did little to inspire confidence in the others.

  “Him?” said Jack, glaring at Wilhelm from where he perched on a sealed pallet. Jack had been in a bad mood ever since one of Vex’s lot had shot him in the foot. “This is your secret weapon? This is your ace in the hole? He looks like he’s about to cry.”

  Wilhelm did, actually, look like he was about to cry, but that may have had something to do with the fact that they were in a freezing cold cargo plane that apparently needed extraordinary amounts of turbulence to stay in the air. Tanith prayed that he’d hold it together for just another few minutes. At the very least, she prayed that he wouldn’t throw up.

  “Wilhelm is the reason we have got as far as we have,” she said. “He’s kept us informed as to Dexter Vex’s strategy, his timetable, his roster... Wilhelm has done some incredible work for us, and I think we should thank him and admire his bravery.”

  She clapped, but nobody else joined in. Wilhelm said something that was lost in the roar of the plane’s engines.

  “Sorry, Wilhelm? What was that?”

  “I was almost killed,” he said again, louder this time. “The plan was you wait for us to disembark and then shoot at everyone but me.”

  “That was the plan,” Sanguine agreed, “but then I found the rocket launcher. Wilhelm, how many times in civilian life do you get the opportunity to fire a rocket launcher at a plane? Three? Four? I had to take that opportunity, Wilhelm. Had to.”

  “You nearly killed me.”

  “And that was very inconsiderate of Billy-Ray,” said Tanith, shooting Sanguine a look, “but I hope you realise his actions do not reflect the opinions of the rest of the group. We’re all very happy you’re here.”

  “I’m not,” said Jack.

  “I’m not, either,” Annis said quickly.

  “But Sabine is happy,” Tanith said before anyone else could speak, “and so is Dusk. Aren’t you, Dusk?”

  Dusk didn’t bother answering. Probably for the best.

  “So,” Tanith said brightly, “the final part of the mission. Three down, one to go, and here we are, heading back to merry old England. Are we excited? I certainly am, I don’t mind telling you. Sabine, how long do we have until the charge on the dagger runs out?”

  “Eighteen hours,” Sabine answered.

  That wasn’t good news. That meant it would be gone before they had a chance to rob the sword. Still, no sense in worrying everyone.

  “Perfect!” Tanith said brightly.

  “How are we going to do it?” Sabine asked. “Breaking into the Sanctuary is suicide.”

  “I have a plan, don’t you worry.”

  “We could use the weapons,” said Jack. “No one would stand a chance against us then.”

  Tanith shook her head. “No, sorry, not using the God-Killers. What if something goes wrong? What if we’re beaten? Then all the weapons will be in the hands of Grand Mage Ode. Nope, we’re going in armed only with our magic, our wits, and a few swords and guns and knives.”

  “What about me?” Dusk asked quietly.

  Tanith hesitated. “We’re going to need you at your feral best, I’m afraid, so that means no serum for you.”

  “You’d better know what you’re doing,” he said. “In my vampire form I make no distinction between ally and enemy.”

  “And that’s why we love you.”

  “How are we going to get inside?” Wilhelm asked. His eyes were wet and he looked queasy. He annoyed her already. “Are we going to just walk in the front door? I told you this months ago – every major Sanctuary around the world now has integrity alerts, primarily because of Mr Sanguine and his tunnelling. If he tries to pass through a wall or floor, the vibrat
ion will set off a massive security operation.”

  “I’m famous,” Sanguine grinned.

  “Billy-Ray isn’t going to be tunnelling anywhere,” said Tanith. “Not right away, at least. I’ve taken all this into account, don’t you worry. He’ll play his part, and the rest of you will play yours.”

  “You gonna split us into teams?” asked Jack. “That’s a good idea, teams. I reckon I should stick with Sabine. We got good chemistry. Practically know what each other is thinkin’ by now, don’t we?”

  Sabine looked alarmed. “I’m sorry?”

  “Actually, Jack,” said Tanith, “you’re going to be teaming up with Billy-Ray. You’re injured, so you’re going to provide a distraction to get the sentries away from their posts, and that’ll allow the rest of us time to sneak in through a hidden entrance.”

  Jack chewed a chapped lip with his yellow teeth. “I don’t know. I don’t think you should split up a partnership that works so well.”

  “Are you still talking about us?” Sabine asked.

  “And my injury ain’t that bad,” said Jack. “OK, so I’m missin’ a few toes. So what? The little gangrenous one was about to fall off anyway. I can still get the job done. Let me prove it.”

  Tanith sighed. “OK, fine, I’ll give you a chance. When we get to London, I’ll be taking a trip over the rooftops. If you can keep up, we’ll talk.”

  “All right, then,” Jack said, leaning back and winking at Sabine. It may have been Tanith’s imagination, but now Sabine was looking a little airsick.

  They got back to London by late evening, and Tanith and Jack took off. He lagged behind as she dashed from rooftop to rooftop. There were a few instances where she thought he’d failed to make a jump, but he always managed to clamber up. By the time they reached their destination, Jack’s bandaged foot was bleeding quite badly.

  “You’re on distraction duty,” Tanith told him as he limped up to her.

  “Oh, come on!” he whined. “Because of this? It’s a graze! It’s a scratch!”

  “You can barely stand up,” she said, taking the bag from her back and removing the blueprints. The wind up there snapped at the paper.

  “I’m as good as I ever was,” Jack said. “Look.” He went to do a backflip and landed on his face.

  “Yeah,” murmured Tanith, “you’re in tip-top shape. Keep an eye out.”

  He got up, rubbed his nose while she examined the plans.

  “So...” he said, and trailed off.

  Tanith ignored him. He cleared his throat, but she kept ignoring him. Finally, he peered over her shoulder.

  “So what’s that, then?” he asked.

  “You’re supposed to be keeping an eye out for Cleavers,” Tanith said. “That’s pretty hard to do when both eyes are on me.”

  “I’ll know when they’re coming,” he said, shrugging. “I’m the Terror of London, me. I know how she sounds, I know how she smells, I know how she feels. She can’t keep any secrets from me. Speakin’ of secrets...”

  “Were we?”

  “Nice little crew you’ve cobbled together. Vampires, killers, monsters... that Sabine girl. Everyone with their own little secrets, their own reasons for being here. All in this together. It’s good. It’s a good group.”

  Tanith knelt at an air vent, started unscrewing the grille.

  “What’s her deal, anyway?” Jack pressed. “Sabine, I’m talkin’ about. She’s not like the rest of us.”

  “Suppose she’s not,” Tanith muttered, her attention focused on the task at hand.

  Jack rambled on. “She’s a good one, that girl. Important to the group. She’s a ray of sunshine, if I’m bein’ honest. A breath of fresh air, to use an overused phrase. But that’s what she is, and no mistake. A pretty little thing, but then I’ve always been partial to blondes. Most of the people I’ve killed have been blonde. Not that I’d ever harm her, of course. I’d never dream of it. Hurt somethin’ so pure and so innocent? I’d rather die, I would. But she’s important to the dynamic, too, you know? Can’t have too many blokes on the team, am I right? We’d all start arguin’ and fightin’ and whatnot. Important to have some womenfolk around, like yourself and Sabine. And, to a lesser extent, Annis. I don’t think anyone counts Annis, though.”

  Tanith looked up. “Is that what this is about? You fancy Annis?”

  Jack looked genuinely horrified. “What? Where the hell did you get that from?”

  “It’s OK,” Tanith said, getting back to work. “I won’t tell her.”

  “I don’t fancy Annis!” Jack said, his voice rising.

  Tanith sighed. “Then will you please get to the point of whatever it is you’re trying to say?”

  He stared at her, mouth opening and closing... and then he scowled. “Nothin’,” he said. “I’m sayin’ nothin’.”

  “Then can I please get back to work? This really isn’t the time or the place to start aimless conversations.”

  “Fine.” He turned, arms folded, looking out across the city. Sulking.

  Tanith rolled her eyes. Of all the possibilities she’d taken into account, she certainly hadn’t expected anything like this to happen. Springheeled Jack – a lovesick puppy?

  She finally got the vent unscrewed, took the glass sphere from her pocket and rolled it in. She listened to it rattle as it dropped, and then the faint sound as it broke. As she replaced the vent, she glanced over at Jack. She really didn’t want to get involved in this. There was nothing she would hate more than be forced to play Cupid to these psychopathic oddballs.

  “It’s done,” she said, standing. He grunted and she sighed. “Listen, Jack... if you have feelings for someone, I’ve found the best thing to do is just, you know... don’t say anything.”

  He looked around. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. Keep it all inside. Resist the urge to make any grand romantic gesture. Or any gesture at all, in fact. Ignore her. That’s the key.”

  “Is that how Sanguine got you?”

  “No,” she admitted. “He waited until I’d been possessed by a bodysnatching shadow-soul. But you... you ignore her. See how she likes that.”

  “Yeah,” said Jack. “That might make her realise what she’s missin’ out on.”

  Tanith patted his shoulder. “I really don’t care. But try it. You’d better get back now.”

  “You ain’t comin’?”

  “I’ve got someone to meet. I’ll see you later.”

  Jack nodded, then hobbled away to the edge of the building and threw himself into the darkness. Tanith went east. Not even ten minutes later, she climbed through a window as Thames Chabon was sitting down for dinner.

  He stared at her. A well-dressed man with a good haircut and a face you’d forget once he passed you in a crowd. There was another man in the room – a heavyset thug. Chabon’s bodyguard. His hand started glowing and Tanith punched him and he hit the wall and crumpled to the floor.

  “Hello, Thames,” Tanith said, pulling up a chair and sitting at the table.

  “Tanith Low,” Chabon said, quickly regaining his composure. “Last time I saw you, you were breaking my fingers.”

  Tanith gave him a smile. “No, no, you’re mistaken. That wasn’t me, that was all Valkyrie. I just held you up.”

  “You’re right, of course,” said Thames. He started cutting into his steak. “Forgive me, I was in so much pain the details got muddled. So what can I do for you, Miss Low? Things have changed since last we met, haven’t they?”

  Tanith shrugged. “Such is life, I suppose. I do hope, however, that not everything has changed. You are still a purveyor of goods, aren’t you? You lay your hands on things that people want – often very rare things, or... not strictly legal things.”

  Chabon chewed his steak and swallowed. “I’ve been known to break the odd law now and then, yes. Is that it? You need me to find something for you?”

  “Nothing so time-consuming. I’d just like to know of your delivery methods.”

  “I’m sorry?”


  “Thames, I know you’ve sourced certain items for certain mages in the London Sanctuary. I know you’ve delivered these items into the Sanctuary with the utmost secrecy. And I know you know of a hidden entrance. And that’s what I need, Thames.”

  “Well, I’m very sorry, Miss Low, but that’s a secret I intend on taking to my grave.”

  “Which sounds like the ideal moment for a threat, but I’m being nice.”

  He smiled. “And it’s appreciated, be in no doubt. But that entrance is vital to my ongoing business and my ongoing well-being. If those same mages suspected I’d betrayed them, they’d waste no time in parting me from my vital organs.”

  “Ah, but there is something I can do for you to make it absolutely worth your while.”

  “As tempting an offer as that undoubtedly is, I’m going to have to decline.”

  Tanith laughed. “Oh, Thames, you misunderstand. I’m keeping this entirely, one hundred percent professional. You have something I want, yes? And, as it just so happens, I have something you want.”

  “Which is?”

  So Tanith told him what she had that he wanted so, so badly, and − she had to hand it to him – he didn’t respond right away. If she hadn’t known better, she could have sworn he really didn’t care.

  “Is that so?” Chabon murmured.

  “I propose a trade,” Tanith said. “You take me to the secret door into the Sanctuary, and I give you what you want. After – what, two years? – your search will finally be over.”

  Chabon looked at her. “Fair enough. But if you try to cheat me...”

  Tanith clapped her hands delightedly. “Splendid news! Thames, I don’t mind telling you, you’ve made me a very happy girl.”

  he room Tanith backed into was filled with cages, and in those cages, men and women stood and sat. These people were the worst of the worst, criminals of such a sickening and grotesque order that they had to be held here, in the Sanctuary itself.

  The White Cleaver pursued her steadily down the steps, sparks flying as their blades clashed. The prisoners started to shout and cheer as Tanith was forced back, enemies all around her. The Cleaver’s blade passed along her belly, drawing blood. She retreated under his impossibly fast onslaught, barely managing to keep up her defence.